The Future Without Hope by Nazarea Andrews

Author:Nazarea Andrews [Andrews, Nazarea]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: A&A Literary
Published: 2014-11-20T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 6. Fallout

FINN IS CROUCHING IN FRONT OF ME. I can see the specks of black, tarry infection on his shirt, and it seems absurd. I don’t know why he’s staring at me like that.

Finn has never looked at me like this. He’s glared, he’s cursed, he’s stared with amusement and disdain and mockery. But this—he has never stared at me with so much pity and grief.

"You killed him," I whisper. It's the first thing I've said since my brother died, and was put down before he could rise a second time. I shiver, suddenly freezing, and Finn stands, grabbing a blanket and tossing it over my shoulders. Then he crouches in front of me again.

"You know that's not true. I kept him from coming back. He wouldn't want to put you in danger—I wouldn't let him."

"You killed him," I repeat, and there's anger in my voice this time.

Finn rocks back on his heels, studying me for a moment. "If you need to be pissed, be pissed. I won't stop you or take that from you, Nurrin."

I crumple, and Finn catches me, holding me up as I sob. It hurts, to cry this hard. Hurts because I know Finn’s going to leave and I can't even blame him. Hurts because there is no one left anymore. My father died just after we settled in 8, and Mother died when I was thirteen. All I had left was Collin, and now that he's—

"I'm all alone," I whisper, and Finn shakes me, hard enough that my head snaps back.

He glares at me. “You aren't. You will never be alone, Nurrin. I'm here."

"I'm not your problem anymore."

"Do you think that changes because Collin is dead?" he demands, and I nod. I do. Of course I do. What the hell else would I think? "You idiot," he whispers.

"Fuck you, O'Malley," I mutter without heat. I can't summon any heat. I can't summon anything but grief and that one repeating truth.

My brother is dead, and I can't do a fucking thing about it.

"Nurrin, I need to talk to Omar," Finn says, softly. He's still speaking with that cautious edge and it annoys me, suddenly.

"I don't care," I say and shift away from him. "Go do what you have to do so we can get the fuck out of this hellhole."

Finn hesitates for another moment, and then he's rising, and moving away from me.

He stops at the door, and looks back at me. "What's the only thing that matters?" he asks, abruptly.

I blink at him.

It's what got me through the wait. It doesn’t matter, not anymore. But he’s staring at me like it does. So I say the words. "You'll keep me safe."

I can't bring myself to repeat the second half. I don't know what Finn is feeling, with my brother dead, but I can't—I shake my head and curl into myself.

"That's still true, Nurrin. I will keep you safe."

I nod and he gives me a searching stare before he ducks out. And I'm alone with my demons and dead.

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